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Have you ever heard someone say something like: “You’re so lucky you have such a great marriage.” Or “You’re lucky your kids turned out so well.” Or even “You’re lucky you’re still in good health.” Maybe someone has even said something like that to you. And if they did, you might have thought to yourself, “Lucky?” It’s certainly easy to think a person is “lucky” to have what they have… because we don’t usually see what went on behind the scenes. The hard conversations.
The compromises.
The choices people made when it would have been easier to ignore the problem. With St. Patrick’s Day coming up next week, you may be thinking of leprechauns, green beer and the “luck of the Irish.” And that phrase made me think of how often we use the word “luck” to explain things that really aren’t luck at all. For instance, someone may say, “They’re lucky their kids are so responsible.” But kids grow up in an environment. They’re influenced by what they see, the expectations around them, and how connected they feel to their parents. Of course every child has their own personality and path, and no parent controls every outcome. But the environment we create still matters more than people sometimes realize. And people do the same thing with health, work, and money. Someone exercises consistently. Someone saves a little bit every month. Someone keeps learning and trying new things in their career. Over time those small choices create results that other people call “luck.” In fact, I was recently told that I’m “lucky” that KC and I have such a strong marriage. (And it kind of made me chuckle, because if you would have seen us in the beginning of our marriage, you would not have called us lucky!😂) But a strong relationship isn’t luck. It’s two people who keep choosing each other. It’s the conversations you have when something feels “off.”
It’s apologizing when you mess up.
It’s making time for each other even when life is busy. And if you’ve been in a long relationship, you probably know exactly what I mean. KC and I aren’t “lucky.” We’re intentional. And honestly, so much of what I teach today came from the things we had to learn ourselves. When we believe other people are “lucky,” it’s easy to start believing we are “unlucky” if we don’t have that same success. And then we become passive in our own lives. We sit back and wait for: the right partner to come along the spark to magically come back in our marriage the perfect job to appear motivation to go to the gym
But the life we want isn’t something we wait for… and it’s not something only “lucky” people have. It’s something we build. And the good news is, that means we have more influence over our lives than we sometimes realize. 4 Steps to Get Started:You don’t need to overhaul your entire life… just start small. Here’s a simple exercise you can try this week. 1. Get clear on what you actually want.Most people never stop to think about this. Ask yourself: What does a great relationship look like to you? What kind of wife/husband do you want to be? What kind of parent do you want to be? What would feeling healthy mean for you? What would a satisfying work life look like? What does financial security look like?
Just take a few minutes and write down whatever comes to mind. 2. Pick ONE area to focus on.Not everything at once. Just one. Maybe it's your relationship, your children, or your health. Maybe it’s work or your finances. Choose the area where the gap between what you have and what you want feels the widest. 3. Look honestly at your current patterns.Ask yourself: This isn’t about beating yourself up. It’s just about noticing the pattern. 4. Choose 1 small action to take THIS WEEK.Choose just one that moves you closer to where you want to be. For example: Relationships→ Tell your partner something you appreciate about them every day this week. Parenting→ Who could you listen to more carefully this week instead of reacting quickly? Health→ Go for a walk a few times this week. Work→ Spend an hour exploring new opportunities or learning something new. Finances→ Skip a few unnecessary purchases and move that money into savings. It can be any small action that moves you closer to your goal. Small actions done consistently are what create big results over time. Now it’s important to add that certainly, not everything in life is within our control. We don’t get to choose where we’re born. We don’t choose the families we grow up in. We don’t choose unexpected health issues. Those things are real life. And they mean some people have opportunities others don’t. But even still… within all of those circumstances, we still make choices. We choose how we show up in our relationships. We choose how we respond to challenges. And we choose the habits we build day after day. And those are the choices that shape our lives. In this week’s Relating with Jen Funk podcast episode, I go deeper into this idea of the “luck myth” and walk through the full framework for creating the life and relationships you actually want. You can watch on YouTube or listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts using the links below. (And if you do - please like, follow and subscribe! Or leave a comment and let me know what you think of it!)
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