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Today is my sister’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Jackie! And as I’ve been thinking about her this week, I realized something… One of the healthiest, most consistent, most supportive relationships in my life is the one I have with her. And it made me stop and ask - why does this one work so well? Because it’s not luck, and it’s not just because we’re sisters. It’s because of how we show up for each other and the effort we put into it. And as I thought of the ways we do this for each other, I realized that these relationship habits don’t apply to just sisters or siblings. These are things that apply to EVERY relationship. So here are 10 of the biggest relationship lessons I’ve learned from her and how to apply them to your life THIS WEEK: 1. Be a cheerleader. Jackie has always been fully, genuinely for me. 100%. No comparison, no jealousy, no competition - just support. And that’s something we all need more of in our relationships. This week, look for one opportunity to encourage or celebrate someone you love. 2. Say the words. Jackie tells me she’s proud of me and that she appreciates me. And I think so many of us feel those things but don’t actually say them. So this week, don’t assume the people you love know how you feel about them. If you’re thinking something kind about someone… SAY IT. 3. Be honest - and create enough safety for honesty in return. I can tell her anything, and I trust her to tell me the truth back. That only works because there’s emotional safety there. If people don’t feel safe with you, they won’t be honest with you. And if there is no honesty, you can never truly be close. So consider just listening to those you love this week. Managing your reactions and your desire to “fix” encourages honesty from others. 4. Protect the people you love. As my fearless big sister, Jackie protected me in many ways growing up. Love at it’s best isn’t just about connection - it’s also about protection - protecting your loved one’s heart and peace. Not necessarliy in a big dramatic way, but in the small everyday moments - your tone, your words, your reactions. This week, try a short pause before you respond. Ask yourself, is your intention to protect their heart, or only expresses yours? 5. Be consistent. Jackie has always been there. Whether she lived in the same city or across the country, she has always shown up for me. And that’s what builds trust. It’s not the big moments… it’s the small, consistent ones that say, “I’m here for you.” So send the text. Make the call. Follow through this week. 6. Love the people they love. Jackie loves my kids, my husband, my friends… the people who matter to me matter to her. Of course, we don’t always love everyone in someone else’s world, but if you love someone, you do need to care about what matters to them. So this week, who do you need to make an effort with, just because it matters to someone you love? 7. You don’t have to be the same to be close. Jackie and I are very different in many ways. And while that can lead to frustration occasionally, we know that closeness isn’t built on sameness - it’s built on respect. So this week, resist the urge to tell someone they are doing it “wrong” and stop trying to make them like you. Different doesn’t mean wrong… it’s just different. 8. Show up in the hard seasons. Anyone can be there when things are easy, but Jackie has definitely been there when things were hard in my life. And that’s what really builds a relationship. You don’t have to have the perfect words. You just need to show up. This week, think of who might need you right now… and then let them know you’ve got them. 9. Appreciation matters more than we think. Jackie has always acknowledged my effort, especially during hard seasons, like caring for my Mom when her health was declining. Feeling seen matters. Feeling appreciated matters. Is there someone in your life who needs to hear “thank you” from you? If so, don’t wait for the perfect moment. Reach out this week. 10. You have to keep choosing the relationship. This might be the biggest one. Our relationship didn’t stay strong because we’re sisters. It stayed strong because we’ve both chosen it. We make this relationship a priority. That’s true for every relationship in your life. When I look at our relationship, I don’t just see a great sister relationship… I see a blueprint. A blueprint for how to have the healthiest relationships - the kind we all want in our lives. And here’s what I want you to think about this week… what is the healthiest relationship in your life? The one that feels easy, safe, supportive. What makes that one work? And where could you bring more of that into the relationships that don’t feel as good right now? Because you already know how to do this. You just have to choose it. If you want to go deeper into this, I walk through all 10 of these in this week’s podcast episode with more stories and examples. You can watch on YouTube or listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts using the links below. (And if you do - please like, follow and subscribe! Or leave a comment and let me know what you think of it!)
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