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Happy New Year! Every January, we’re encouraged to set goals for our bodies, our productivity, and our habits. But here’s a question we don’t consider very often: What if you set a goal for one of your relationships this year? Our relationships shape our daily lives more than almost anything else. They impact how supported we feel, how we handle stress, and how connected or alone we feel in the world. And yet, they often get whatever energy is left over after everything else. So instead of asking, “What do I want to accomplish this year?”
I want to invite you to ask something different: “How do I want my relationships to feel this year?” Here’s a simple way to get started. It’s a short, realistic framework you can use today, with no overwhelm and no perfection required. 1. Choose one relationship to focus on. Not all of them. Just one.
It might be your partner, one of your kids, a friend, or even your relationship with yourself. 2. Name the feeling you want more of. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong in the relationship, just ask yourself: What would I love to feel more of here? Is it more connection? More ease? More closeness? More fun? More understanding? This matters because feelings give direction. “Better communication” is vague. “Feeling understood” is actionable. 3. Choose one small, consistent action. Big resolutions tend to fade, while small habits stick.
The key is choosing an action that actually supports the feeling you want more of. For example: If you want more connection, try a weekly check-in or one intentional, distraction-free conversation each week. If you want more fun, plan one new or playful activity together at least once each month. If you want more ease, simplify rather than add: fewer assumptions, softer starts to conversations, or a small moment of appreciation each day. If you want more closeness with a child, choose ten minutes of phone-free presence…and let them lead. If you want more support from yourself, create a daily pause for gratitude or a compassionate check-in instead of self-criticism.
Consistency matters more than intensity. 4. If it involves another person, share your intention. Not as a demand, but as an invitation. Something as simple as: “I’d really love for us to feel more connected this year. Would you be open to trying something small together?” And if the other person isn’t fully on board yet? That’s okay. Relationships don’t change because both people get it perfect at the same time. They change because one person chooses to be intentional, rather than staying on autopilot. And sometimes that can be enough to get started. This week’s episode of the Relating with Jen Funk podcast dives deeper into this idea, including: What to do if your partner isn’t on board How to move forward even when you don’t do it perfectly Why relationship goals aren’t about fixing something broken, but creating something more intentional
You can click on the links below to watch or listen. And if you enjoy it, please like, follow or share with others you think will enjoy it too.
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