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You share a home. You manage the schedules. You text about groceries and carpool. You love each other. But you don’t really touch each other. And you haven’t in a long while. At some point, you stopped feeling close. And you may have forgotten what truly connected even feels like. But it didn’t happen overnight. It just slowly evolved. Too many conversations that didn’t end well. Too many busy nights. Too many hurts that still hurt. Too many “I’m too tired” moments. And one day you realize: This person feels more like my roommate than my life partner. If you’ve ever felt this way, or worry you may one day, you are definitely not alone. And you definitely need to keep reading. Intimacy Doesn’t Disappear OvernightDistance rarely starts with something major happening. It all about the little things: • the comment that hurt but was never brought up to talk about • the invitation to connect that was shut down… and wasn’t offered again • the arguments that ended without real resolution • the schedules that left no room for “us” When hurt feelings pile up or connection gets neglected, being close feels risky. We just don’t want to be hurt again. And when it doesn’t feel safe… we naturally pull away from each other. So How Do We Find Our Way Back?If things feel distant right now, the path back starts with creating safety again. You can do that by: 1. Starting with a conversation. A conversation where the goal is to understand, not blame… To soothe hurt feelings and take responsibility for our own behaviors that have caused pain. And to ask for what you want and hope your partner wants the same. The goal is to repair and move forward as a team. 2. Start taking action. Click this link to download the guide: 5 Simple Habits to Improve Your Relationship Today. Start small - implement 1 new habit at a time. I’d start with sharing appreciation for your partner daily. When we look for the good, we start seeing more of it! Focusing on what isn’t working doesn’t serve either of you, but starting this one small habit will. Check out the couples gratitude journal I created to make this easy for you by clicking this link: Thank You For… One Minute a Day to A Better Relationship. 3. Get professional help if you cannot reconnect on your own. Even the strongest couples have periods of time when they feel disconnected. The key is knowing how to come back and connect again. If conversations aren’t going well and you need additional support, reach out to me for coaching at this link: Contact Jen or find a local therapist in your area who can help. How to Keep the Connection AliveRelationships last when they are cared for and nurtured. Both partners must protect and prioritize the connection. Ways to do this: Clear the air instead of sweeping things under the rug. Issues cannot be resolved if they are not brought up for discussion. Say yes to connection - emotional and physical - with your partner as often as possible. Even if you are not “in the mood,” say yes to being open for what’s possible and create the conditions for desire to grow. Make time for each other before life fills every inch of the calendar. You have to be close to feel close.
This Week on the Podcast: Repair, Reconnection & Keeping It GoingThis episode wraps up the SPARK Intimacy Series, where we’ve talked about: ✨ Safety & Connection
✨ Pursuit & Romance
✨ Arousal & the Body
✨ and now… Repair & Keeping It Going If you’ve been listening along, this final conversation brings it all together. If you’ve missed the others, this is a powerful place to begin. Click on the links below to watch on my YouTube Channel or listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. (And if you do - please like and follow! Or leave a comment and let me know what you think of it!)
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