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This past weekend I played in a three-day doubles tennis tournament. It was exciting and fun, but also stressful… The kind of weekend that tested me mentally and emotionally as much as physically. And it ended up teaching me more about relationships than my tennis game. Day 1: My partner and I lost a tough match, causing me to question how the rest of the weekend would go. Day 2: Normally I can hold it together on the court, but I felt myself start to lose it a little midway into the first set. My body tightened up, and I couldn’t get my serve in. I mentally unraveled for the next few games, as my partner, Lori, remained steady and focused, carrying us with her badass tennis skills until I could regroup. Meanwhile, KC, my friends, family and teammates were lined up along the fence, calling out to encourage me, reminding me I wasn’t alone. Feeling their support, I got myself together and we took the set and the tiebreak for the win. Day 3: Leaning in to the support of the crowd, I stepped onto the court our final day feeling strong and focused. Lori and I battled through another tough match and came out with the win in the final round. This weekend reminded me of 2 very important truths: 1) We all need support. (Especially to do hard things!) That match on Day 2 was proof that I couldn’t have pulled through on my own. And life is the same way. When parenting struggles, work stress, or personal challenges feel overwhelming, we need people who steady us, carry us for a bit, and remind us we’re not alone. None of us were designed to push through hard things by ourselves. 2) Our spouse can’t be our only source of support. KC’s role in all this was critical, but his encouragement alone wouldn’t have been enough. No one person - even the person we love most - can carry everything. That’s why we need friendships and community - our people at the fence! We need friends to laugh with, lean on, and remind us of who we are outside of our roles as a spouse, parent, or partner. And one of the best gifts we can give our marriage is encouraging each other to build a circle of support. When we both invest in those connections, we bring more strength, joy, and perspective back into our marriage. Action Steps for Your Relationships:Encourage your spouse’s friendships. Celebrate when they spend time with friends who fill them up. Support them in building a healthy circle outside your marriage. These connections don’t weaken or threaten your relationship - they actually strengthen it. Invest in your own circle. Pay attention to the people who show up when you need them most, and be intentional with your time and energy to nurture those friendships. Show up for others. Sometimes it looks like steadying your spouse. Other times, it looks like standing on the fence line, cheering until your friend finds her footing again. In marriage, friendship and family - we all take turns being the one who carries the weight and the one who needs to be carried.
What I’ll treasure most from this weekend isn’t the wins… it’s the hugs and the high fives and all the people who showed up for me - even those who were just there in spirit. KC, Lori, and my friends along the fence reminded me that we’re carried by the people who love us, and no one person can carry it all alone. This Thursday on the Relating with Jen Funk podcast, I am so excited to have two of my teammates as my special guests who know this truth firsthand. They’re not only doubles partners, but also great friends, and their friendship is a beautiful example of what it looks like to carry each other - on and off the court. Together we’ll talk about why friendships matter, how they strengthen our marriages, and why building a circle of support makes all the difference. Be sure to subscribe and follow so you don’t miss it! 🎙️ Listen on Spotify 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts 📺 Watch on YouTube With love and belief in you,
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