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This week is Back-to-School Night for us. We’ll walk the halls one last time with Natalie’s schedule in hand, meet her teachers, and hear about the expectations of the classroom. Since she’s a senior, it’s the last time we’ll do this. And as I was thinking about it, I realized that at the beginning of every year, the teachers always go over the syllabus. A syllabus is basically the teacher’s roadmap for the class… It lays out expectations, goals, objectives, and what success looks like for the semester. Everyone knows where they’re headed and how to get there. It also spells out how each part of the class will be weighted - maybe tests are worth 40%, quizzes 20%, homework 30%, and participation 10%. Add it all up, you get 100% and a big fat A+ on your report card. Wouldn’t it be nice if marriage worked that way? If we knew exactly how our partner “weighted” the things that matter most? Maybe quality time counts as 50% for them, while physical intimacy is 25%, and acts of service or words of encouragement make up the rest. Now of course, we’re not really grading each other… Marriage isn’t about scoring points or tallying up wins and losses. But there’s nothing wrong with wanting an “A+ marriage,” and understanding what matters most to your spouse helps you focus your energy where it counts. What if Your Marriage Had a Lesson Plan?Not a rigid set of rules, but a thoughtful plan to keep you and your spouse connected and moving in the same direction. Here are three “classroom strategies” you can try this fall: Set 1–2 Relationship Goals for the Semester
Just like students set academic goals, you and your spouse can choose one or two relationship goals. Maybe it’s a weekly date night, reconnecting physically, or being more playful together. Do a Weekly “Syllabus Check-In”
On Sunday evenings, instead of only reviewing carpools and grocery lists, take five minutes to check in about you two. Ask each other: What is the most important way I can support you this week? This helps you uncover what your partner values most in real time before small things build into big frustrations. Pick a “Subject” to Grow In Together
Is it communication? Conflict resolution? Teamwork? Intimacy? Choose one area to really work on and practice together this season. You don’t have to master it all at once - growth is the goal. Just keep getting a little better over time.
The Big Picture:Strong marriages don’t happen by accident. They thrive when we’re intentional. Just like students succeed when they understand the syllabus and follow the plan, our relationships succeed when we’re clear on expectations and actively work toward meeting each other’s needs. So as we step into a new season, maybe it’s time to create your own “Lesson Plan for Love.” It doesn’t have to be fancy. Just pick a couple relationship goals, revisit them often with weekly check-ins, and choose one area of focus to help you stay connected in the middle of life’s busyness. Because at the end of the day, the most important subject we’ll ever study is how to love and be loved well. ❤️ If you’d like support creating your own plan, that’s exactly what I help my clients with. Sometimes all it takes is a fresh perspective and a few simple tools to make a big difference in your marriage. You can book a free consultation call here. And if you enjoyed this newsletter, would you share it with your spouse, a friend or family member who might benefit too? Or better yet, send them to www.jenfunkcoaching.com so they can sign up and receive it directly. With love and belief in you,
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