Here we are… the first week of December.

That magical time of year when it seems our job is to remember everything for everyone.

Holiday parties.
Teacher gifts.
Secret Santas.
Class donations.
Family calendars.
Family gifts.
Travel plans.

And for me, add in remembering to move our elf, Funkadoodle. Every. Single. Night. Wait, what? Who did this to us? Were we crazy? Yes… but I digress.

While we’re busy remembering everything, we inevitably forget one thing:

Ourselves.

It’s taken me years to realize this (and many more to actually do anything about it).

Especially when my kids were younger, December felt like a whole month of crazy. Kids activities in full swing, volunteer stuff I said yes to when I should have said no, and a desperate attempt to pack in as many “Christmassy” things our family could do because I had to make it magical!

But every year, I had a truly magical vision - not of sugar plums dancing in my head, but of a simple evening where everything was done and no one needed anything more. Just me in front of the fire with a cozy blanket, something warm to drink, and an actual moment to feel the season instead of plowing through it.

And every year, I’d run harder than the last, never checking in with myself… never hitting the pause button… never asking myself:

“Jen, how are you holding up?” “Do you need some rest?” “What would make this feel joyful instead of frantic?”

And because I wasn’t checking in, December became a month of low-grade irritability and simmering resentment - not because anything was wrong, but because I was running on empty while trying to pour into everyone else.

Here’s what I know now:

When you disconnect from yourself, the entire season becomes something you’re managing… instead of something you’re experiencing.

We miss the magic because we’re too busy trying to create it.
We miss the moments because we’re rushing to the next thing.
We lose patience because we’re not really present.

And we forget ourselves long before we forget to move the darn elf.

So this year, I want to offer you something I’ve been practicing myself - something simple, grounding, and doable even in the busiest season:

The Holiday Peace Plan

(created with my friend and yoga instructor, Doran McBride)

It’s only three simple steps, but they’re powerful when practiced.

1. Check in with yourself

Before you check stockings or calendars or grocery lists…
check in with YOU.

Ask yourself:

• How am I doing emotionally?

• What do I need today?

• Am I overwhelmed, tired, overstimulated, or stretched thin?

• What would help me feel more peaceful right now?

These tiny pauses can change the entire tone of your day.

2. Regulate & reconnect

This is where you help your nervous system relax and slow down.

Try one of these simple tools:

• Relax your jaw. (Doran’s signature reminder)

• A slow inhale through your nose, and exhale slowly through your mouth like you are blowing out of a straw.

• Hold your hands up, palms facing out. Bring your thumbs into your palm and gently bring your fingers over your thumb and rest in your lap. It’s a little thumb hug. And it feels awesome.

• A one-minute stretch.

These are short, easy and accessible - and reconnects you back to you.

3. Give yourself a gift this season

A real one. One meant just for YOU. Not a new candle or lipstick (unless that brings you joy… then go for it!). But we’re suggesting something that nourishes your energy or your spirit:

• A quiet morning alone

• A new class that gets you excited

• A long walk

• A therapy or coaching session

• A day to yourself

• A retreat

• An hour with a book and a closed door

• Saying no to something you don’t want to do

• Saying yes to something that fills you up

Gifts aren’t just bought… sometimes they’re chosen. Sometimes they’re boundaries. Sometimes they’re small pockets of time you give back to yourself.

If you want to go deeper into this, check out this week’s podcast episode and listen to one of my oldest and dearest friends, Doran McBride - corporate powerhouse turned yoga instructor - offer some grounding wisdom on why your relationship with you, and showing up for yourself, sets the tone for all of the other relationships in our lives.

You can listen to this week’s podcast episode by clicking the links below.

If there is one point I want you to get from this newsletter (or the podcast), it’s this:

You deserve to be on your own list this December.

Not at the bottom.
Not as an afterthought.
Not squeezed into the leftover moments.

At the top.

Wishing you a holiday season you can actually feel. (Not just survive.)

With love and belief in you,

P.S. Loved this message? Please share it with a friend who could use it, or head to www.jenfunkcoaching.com to sign up for future newsletters, learn how to work with me, and download my free relationship guide - 5 Simple Habits to Improve Your Relationship Today.

Jen Funk, CPC
Certified Professional Life & Relationship Coach
Helping others create deeply connected, fulfilling relationships.
www.jenfunkcoaching.com