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Jen Funk Coaching
 

Welcome to Relating - A weekly note from me to you with thoughts, tools, and encouragement for building connected, lasting relationships.

 

When Your Dream Vacation Isn’t So Dreamy

We all do it.

We picture the perfect vacation… the one where we’re finally relaxed, the kids are happy, the couple time is romantic, the sunsets are magical, and everyone’s just as grateful as we are to be together.

And then… reality.

Someone gets sick.
Flights are delayed.
The Airbnb isn’t as cute as the photos.
The kids are bickering or bored.

You and your partner are snippy with each other… both tired, both frustrated.

But trust me. It’s not just you.

Every family has those moments, including ours.

We’ve had vacations where our car was broken into mid-trip, another when we scrambled for a last-minute place to stay after a cancellation, and my personal favorite - when our otherwise gorgeous Airbnb turned out to come with lizards as roommates!

These weren’t the memories we planned, and they were incredibly stressful in the moment. And when frustration and stress replace relaxation and romance, it’s easy to wonder, “Why does this feel so hard? This is supposed to be vacation!”

But here’s the truth:

Vacations are never perfect.

They can be beautiful and fun, but they’re still real life - with all its messiness, surprises, and stress packed into a carry-on. And when we expect them to be flawless or life-changing, we’re almost guaranteed to feel let down.

So how do we handle the “dream vs. reality gap” and actually come home feeling more connected to those we love, even if the trip wasn’t picture-perfect?

3 Ways to Handle a Less-Than-Dreamy Vacation:

1. Normalize it.

Most vacations are a mix of experiences.

They’re a blend of sweet moments and stressful ones… and that’s normal.

Action Step: When things go sideways, say to yourself (or each other):

  • “Of course it’s messy. This is just part of traveling, not a sign that the vacation is ruined.”

This shift in mindset helps you let go of the ideal and stay present for what’s really happening.

2. Anchor to Small Joys.

It’s tempting to write off the whole trip as a disaster because of a few hard moments. But usually, there are at least some glimmers of connection and fun along the way.

Action Step: Each evening, pause and ask:

  • What’s one thing that made me smile today?

  • What’s one thing I appreciated about my partner or kids?

You’ll train your brain to hold both: the frustrations and the sweet moments.

3. Debrief Afterward (with compassion)

Once you’re home (and a little rested!), check in with each other:

  • What worked well on this trip?

  • What didn’t go well?

  • What can we do differently next time?

Action Step: Do this as a team conversation.

The goal isn’t to dissect who or what “ruined” the trip or who didn’t react well to it… it’s to learn and adjust for next time, together.

Bottom line?

Vacations don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful.

They’re real life, just with more sunscreen, sand, and surprise visitors (looking at you, Hawaiian lizards!). 🦎

Every trip is a chance to grow - not just as travelers, but as partners, parents and people.

So when you expect a few bumps, look for small moments of joy, and reflect back on your vacations with compassion for yourself and each other, you’ll come home with what matters most: connection, memories and maybe even a few stories you’ll laugh about for years.

With love and belief in you,

P.S. If you are enjoying my newsletters, please share with your friends! Just send them to my website to sign up at www.jenfunkcoaching.com.

And if you are interested in improving your relationship and want info on the small group for women I’m working on this Fall, please fill out the short interest form below. It just takes a minute, and no commitment. It will just help me plan logistics. Thanks!

Relationship Group Interest Form

Jen Funk
Certified Professional Life & Relationship Coach
Helping women create deeply connected, fulfilling relationships.
www.jenfunkcoaching.com

 
 
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Jen Funk Coaching, LLC, 11201 Ensley Ct., Henrico, Virginia 23233

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