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This past weekend, KC and I flew to Texas for one of my favorite cousin’s son’s wedding. The bride and groom were young and in love and glowing with that unmistakable “we can take on the world together” optimism. The pastor did a beautiful job reminding them (and all of us in the room) that while their love feels magical right now (I believe his exact words were “These two are high as a kite on feelings of love” - and they were!)… those feelings won’t always carry them. Marriage, he said, is ultimately a covenant - a commitment to stay, to choose love, even when life gets messy and hard. A covenant is different from a contract. A contract says, “If you hold up your end, I’ll hold up mine.” But a covenant says, “I’m choosing to be with you and for you, no matter what.” That’s the kind of promise a lasting marriage requires. And when he said that, KC reached for my hand, and we both gave each other a knowing squeeze. Twenty-four years in, we understood exactly what he meant. Every marriage starts with hope. You have no idea what your future holds, but you have dreams, excitement, and some sort of vision you hope for the future. But the marriages that last are the ones where couples learn to grow together, turning that hope into something strong enough to weather real life. Here are six ways you can do that (whether you are just getting started or married for years!): Dream together, then revisit often. Don’t let your early dreams fade into the background. Revisiting goals keeps you moving in the same direction even as life changes. Suggested schedule: Weekly: a quick 10–15 minute check-in to ask, “How are we doing? What’s one thing you need from me this week?” Quarterly: a deeper conversation about schedules, finances, parenting, or priorities. Annually: a big-picture reset (on an anniversary, New Year’s, or vacation) where you reflect on the past year and set your intentions for the next.
Build trust in the small things. Commitment isn’t proven only in the big vows; it’s reinforced daily in ordinary actions… showing up, keeping promises, apologizing when needed. Choose “we” over “me.” In moments of stress or conflict, pause and remember - you are a team. Ask yourself “What serves US as a couple?” That shift creates unity and strength. Remember your vows. You don’t have to pull out the originals, but remember your promises and revisit them. They matter more today than they did on your wedding day. (Fun idea: Watch your wedding video on each anniversary!) Make micro-connections. A knowing glance, a hand squeeze, a whispered “I’ve got you.” Those tiny gestures build trust and remind you you’re on the same team. Choose love daily. Not just the feeling, but the action - apologize, forgive, listen, serve. The smallest choices and actions, repeated over time, add up to a lasting marriage.
Watching this sweet young couple reminded me of our own wedding day. And sitting there with KC, I felt grateful for everything we’ve walked through together these last 24 years. Because the beauty of marriage is this… Hope carries you into it, but commitment carries you through it.
And that’s what turns a wedding day promise into a story worth telling decades later. If this resonates with you and you want support in building a marriage that lasts, I’d love to walk alongside you. Just respond back to this email to set up a free consultation with me. And if this message encouraged you, would you forward it to a friend or your spouse who might need a reminder today? Or just share this link to my website where they can sign up to receive them in their own inbox: www.jenfunkcoaching.com. With love and belief in you,
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